In love with youtube, what could entertain me more?

Really, really can't miss great jokes, Youtube has fulfilled my daily laughter fuhahahah

Have been watching some dancing videos, mostly.......Kpop. Nawww don't judge me, Korean guys are amazing khekhe. Ah-mah-zing, they do moonwalk like they were born to. B-FAB whoah.

MAN, I'M SERIOUS. the more I watch 'em do some dance this, dance that. My body is itching for some serious practise. I am doing well, I just lack partners. But dancing ain't got me anywhere here. Indonesia doesn't appreciate dances and stuff, does it? They only go with face, look, and face. And yes, I said 'face' twice.

You can go to random places, wear good clothes, then a model/talent agency passed you by and dazzled by your face, got his/her phone card to join a model/talent audition, got permission from your parent to join the audition the agency told you, win it, then BAM!! You got big. You became a star. You forgot your friends. You got new star friends.

Actually I've been shedding lately when I thought about the future and stuff. Will I succeed? Will I be like the ones I watch E.V.E.R.Y.day on youtube? You heard me right, I was shedding. It's depressing, you know, when you dream, watch, listen, imitate, talk, think, and sing about/like them, and you know it would, maybe, impossible for us to become... like that? If you think I am going to talk about a kid that thinks that her dream would be impossible to reach and stuffs like in the novels,

DUDE, this is real. And it's not as easy as in the novels, cause if 'life' is a novel, EVERYONE is the chosen ones. You, me, her, him. Fate is on your hands, & if you want to say '"b-but it's also fate that dreams are impossible to reach!", you, can give me your fate, and I will gladly erase that pathetic 'fate' of yours. I'm arrogant, I know.

Simple. If you got the face. (WHAT'S WRONG WITH TALENT DAMMIT).

I might end up in Indonesia Mencari Bakat.

I'm not referring this to any celebs or anybody else, in case you got someone in your mind.

And fairfarren,

Kinan.

You're getting stronger,

congratulation for making it until 13 years!

Happy Birthday, dear self.

May the haters hate you, but be tough,

Even if you're alone, you're never lower than anyone.

or alone.

You're okay. You can find your own happiness,

somewhere.

Thank you, God.

For giving me rainbow this morning,

and a heart-shaped cloud in the afternoon,

I'm not joking, this is the best.

Those who forgotten about me, those who trashed me,

I, hate you.

But actually, thank you for everything until now.

You gave me a looooot of good memory you think I won't remember.

Thank you very, very much, my classmates.

For the Happy Birthday song this morning.

And oh! 'Diloen' and 'Zisma' for the presents!

I owe you guys..

You know,

I knew that, well, alone is great.

Being forgotten is no big deal, ahahah. Seriously.

What could I've done without the knowledge of 'alonery'?

Maybe I'm still a bitchy rebel-whiner like I used to (oops),

Maybe I can't even speak english,

and maybe.... I'm still weak. & a fool.

Don't try to convince me you don't forget about me,

Cause I actually know you're not.

Don't regret it,

It means you got a life,

It means you got something, that is a loooot better,

than me.

Congratulation guys! I lied about being mad! And please don't hate me,

I actually loved you.

In my own way.

This anti-social girl is actually used to be forgotten, so please don't mind me,

I am strong, anyway.

And Happy Birthday, dear self.

You're now 13. A teenager. Give yourself some happiness.

No candles, no glitters, no party,

But I got some good food, it's better anyway.

And dear self,

Be stronger, than anyone else.

Fairfarren, Kinan.